Despite often voicing how materialism is ruining the world. Tyler is ready to take the next step of gear obsession. Ty prays to Saint Yvon Chouinard in the church of the Nano-puff. He’s got it all. Both the fish AND bison trucker hats. Several of those hoodies that make you look like a big sperm. A handful of Better Sweaters and some wild and crazy Synchillas for when he wants to hit on sorority girls.
“My made in China polyester gear is like… way better than your made in China polyester gear”
Every email regarding boycotts or sustainability is treated as Gospel. He’s got that picture of the rock climbers throwing their infant across a canyon in a 2″x3″ print in his wallet. A Patagonia wading belt hangs from his rearview mirror.
Definitely not susceptible to marketing campaigns disguised as activism. Tyler buys up every piece of clothing ever produced in ‘gonia’s coal-powered garment factories. The made-from-petroleum synthetic materials make him feel good. He doesn’t care that down filling comes from dead geese. And he definitely doesn’t know how many gallons of diesel fuel are needed to get a pair of PowSlayer bibs from China to his door. Perhaps the most important aspect is that Tyler won’t entertain any dissention of his favorite brand. All the hallmarks of religion.
-publius
The Huck 