The season is nearly over and you didn’t accomplish the goals you set for yourself in November. You probably have some sad story about how you had work on that one good powder day. But we both know you wouldn’t have hucked that cliff. Lucky for you there are some salvageable weeks ahead. You can wear that wacky ski outfit from the thrift store that only you think is cool. Step back in time and back on piste. Ski some bumps, wear sunglasses, drink more. Below are some spring skiing mainstays to look forward to.
Slush
Slush is like powder’s weird cousin that does Ketamine. You look forward to interacting with them on occasion. But things get pretty weird if they stick around for too long. Afternoon slush laps with friends can be a blast. As in all skiing, don’t take yourself too seriously. Show up at 1pm to avoid icy conditions. Ski a few runs and promptly head into the bar for some beers and fellowship. Maybe splurge on some nachos with beef instead of chicken. You deserve it.
Tank Tops and Bikinis
A classic spring skiing look, showing some skin on the slopes during Holy Week. When it’s 55 degrees in town, it’s 33 on the mountain. And you think it’ll be warm enough to ski in a bathing suit. While that might be true, it is not warm enough to ride a chairlift in a bathing suit. Bring a jacket and tie it around your waist like your mom used to make you. You’ll be glad you did. Also call your mother after skiing. Why don’t you call your mother more often?
Tailgating
Check local laws pertaining to drinking in the parking lot. And then drink in the parking lot regardless of what you find. Spring parking lot beers are a basic human right. Maybe break out your old man’s Coleman stove and grill for your friends.
Closing Day
There’s probably a litany of events your local resort is hosting to mark the end of the season. Maybe this is the year you finally do the pond skim. Whatever you do, don’t be the dipshit that seriously injures themselves on the last day of the season. Also, don’t be the asshole who constantly reminds people of some “North-facing backcountry spot that will be good til July”. Ski season is over. If that really bothers you, head to the southern hemisphere and leave us all alone.
Let’s go fishing.
-publius
The Huck 