Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to have multiple gears on the pedals of your mountain bike? Almost as embarrassing as having a cassette that doesn’t sound like 1,000 cicadas when coasting. Lucky enough for one man he was given a second chance last weekend at a local brewery.
A dating app paired the couple and after 72 hours of trading Pinkbike links and TGR posts they decided to grab a unfiltered craft beer together. She arrived on last year’s Juliana Maverick and he on a Trek from the early aughts. Things were not off to a good start. This man was supposed to actually KNOW about mountain biking. Not be some flatlander who can’t muster up $3,500 for a piece of technology that was invented during the Monroe Administration. Multiple gears at your feet went out with planking and Gaddafi. Despite not being up-to-date on his bicycle setup the man turned out to be a decent human being. We hear there will be a second date.
“I mean, it’s cool that you support his lifestyle”
– Friend that Gives Backhand Compliments
Changes to mountain biking are always necessary and not at all arbitrary. Take “Boost” for example, Boost is the widening of a wheel hub by 10mm. It’s a completely appropriate name and not at all a marketing ploy. As is having one gear at your feet. One gear at your feet means more gears at your back wheel to achieve the same ratios and results. Who doesn’t want more gears at their back wheel? People who are simply not in the know. But people can change. Our friend from the brewery will be evangelized and see the error of his ways. It’s either that or be chastised by some people in very menacing sunglasses at the trailhead. I know what I would do.
-publius
Editors Note: James Monroe was the last president from the Founding Fathers.
The Huck 